The Apology

I failed myself. I had no reason to believe you were a good person. I believed it because my instincts told me you were.
My instincts misfired. Everyone says, trust your instincts. Nobody says, they only work if you have a strong, positive self image.
I failed myself. I did not keep myself safe from you. I allowed myself to be open, vulnerable, intimate and loving with you.
My instincts misfired. In retrospect, I can see you look like my father. In retrospect, I can see you speak using his cadences. In retrospect, I can see you move using his strides.
I failed myself. I mistook the qualities you share with my father for trustworthiness. I trust my father.
I failed myself. I am sorry you got to be so ugly in my presence.
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